When did it really hit home?

The path to this event was filled with pitfalls, logs to climb over, and quicksand. There was rejection. There was loss of commitment. There were time management issues: balancing school, teams, and the event. There were times of great disappointment, and there were times of great joy. There were even people who undermined the event by sticking their fingers into the pot having no clue about what was happening or how things were being run. And there were minor lapses in communication.

And wherever there is money there is bound to be issues.

But when did it really head home?

Ocean and I have been working our kiesters  (Christine how do you spell that?) off. One week of Christmas holidays was completely dedicated to the event. And it became a part time job for both of us. Sometimes I was designing, other times I was task manager, and other times cheerleader.  Most importantly I was the holder of the dream and vision.

The night before the event Marion came over to deliver her ginger cookies. She could not attend the event, but visiting with her was marvelous. Although I have known Marion since before Ocean was born, and I consider her my spiritual midwife, we have not seen her for over a year so there was lots to catch up on. (Interestingly enough she had been to Honduras in the meantime to help build a wing of a school.)

When she heard about the trip to Mexico, that Ocean was going without me at the tender age of 14, and that I did not even know the people in the organization she sat in wonder. “I used to worry about you letting her go.”

I explained to Marion the impact of Ocean being ill for so long, how much she missed, and how much it dampened her spirit. I explained the enthusiasm Ocean had when she came home from school after seeing the Absolute.org presentation. I told her, “I simply could not quench that.” Marion understood. It was her son Rick who started the Edmonton chapter of the Indigo School, based on the foundation that children have their own interests and that when they are sustained in what they are here to do they can do amazing things: loving every step of the way. Some people saw Ocean on stage, listened to her strength and confidence and attributed it to the opportunities she has been given. It is true Ocean has had these opportunities, but she has not taken them. In fact she refuses to speak in public. People who know Ocean know this is not nurture but nature. This is Ocean. This is who she is, who she has always been.

When she was about 5, after the Tsunami I heard her in her room. She called down, “Can I have some soap?”  I agreed. “Where are the candles?” I told her. “Can I have some matches?” I went upstairs.  There she was with her Barbie suit case silting on the floor. Packed was a blanket, some books, and other items. “Is this your 72 hour kit?” I asked? We had been talking about being prepared for emergencies. “No, she replied. This is for a child hit by the Tsunami.”

A few years later she saw a soft stuffed puppy. She really wanted it, but I did not think she needed it. Shortly thereafter she won a poetry contest, $30. At the same time she learned about an immunization program where it cost $1 per child. Guess which she chose?

People who know Ocean know this Ocean, this is who she has always been. This is who she will continue to be. Her plans are not just to go to Mexico this year, but to go on a trip every year: making a difference in the lives of other children around the world.

But she has been dampened. Not only by her state of health, but by her situation. Being a daughter of a single mother there are many opportunities she has missed. Many things we could simply not afford. She missed out socially not only because of how often she was sick and could not keep commitments, but also because she was an artist not an athlete. Being surrounded by people who value sports, she simply never felt a sense of belonging.  And except for Deanna Gunderson, she was simply not understood. Yet it was apparent she was a leader, she was simply never really given the chance to lead. In so many ways her nature was simply not nurtured.

So when she came home on fire, having gotten past the physical limitations of illness, I guided her through a process of learning how to tap into that energy, to harness that energy, to use it to create something. I created the space for her to dream, then I held the vision.

There were so many times when it seemed impossible, and out of reach… just like she said in her presentation. But last night, when she sat on the stage listening to Tika talk about her experiences and listen to the music Mike Frye put to his slide show of pictures from the trip in 2008 it hit me.

We had done it.

We had created a successful event.

 Ocean will be going to Mexico.

She will be building a house for a family there.

She will be not just populating but changing the world: a leader among her friends.